frank and the boys

Happy New Year 2007!

2006-12-30T09:40:00.000-06:00

vato night before navidad

2006-12-23T14:51:00.000-06:00

UNO
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the casa,
Not a creature was stirring - ¡Caramba! ¿Qué pasa?
Los niños were tucked away in their camas,
Some in long underwear, some in pijamas,
While hanging the stockings with mucho cuidado,
In hopes that old Santa would feel obligado,
To bring all children, both buenos and malos,
A nice batch of dulces and other regalos.
Outside in the yard there arose un gran grito,
and I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.
I ran to the window and looked out afuera,
And who in the world do you think that it era?
Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big red sombrero,
Came dashing along like a loco bombero.
And pulling his sleigh instead of venados,
Were eight little burros approaching volando.
I watched as they came and this quaint little hombre,
Was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre:
"Ay Pancho, ay Pepe, ay Cuco, ay Beto,
ay Chato, ay Chopo, Maruco, y Nieto!"
Then standing erect with his hands on his pecho,
He flew to the top of our very own techo,
With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.
Then huffing and puffing at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala,
He filled all the stockings with lively regalos,
None for the ninos that had been very malos.
Then chuckling aloud, seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone como el viento,
And I heard him exclaim, y ¡esto es verdad!
Merry Christmas to all, ¡y Feliz Navidad!

DOS
The night before Chreemas, on Toosday I theenk,
I go to cantina to geet me a dreenk.
I dreenk saam tequila, I dreenk eet too fast,
Preety damn queek, I fall on my ass.

I peek myself up and go home to my bed,
I pool the cobija up ober my head.
Early next morning, or late een the night,
I heer such damn recket, I theenk eet's a fight.

I geet outta bed, I don feel very well,
My head ees too beeg, eet hort me like hell.
I go to the weendow, I don believe what I see,
A pot-bellied greengo, as plain as can be.

I looook at heez ropa, ees all colored red,
He got heem some chivos tied on to a sled.
I yella and I holler, "Hey, move your fat ass,
Your chivos over dere, they chit on my grass!"

He torn to heez goats, he say just one word,
And them damn chivos chomp in the air like a bord.
They corcle around, and then queek as a mouse,
He land that damn sled on top of my house.

They chaking their horns and stomping hees hoof,
I theenk they damn chore play hell with my roof.
I heer theze ole man chout loud and clear,
"What the hell, Rodriquez, ain't no cheemney up here.

No door, no weendow, nothing but air,
How I gon geev you theze goverment welfare?"
Then right away theze Rodriquez see---
He gon get heemself something, something for free.

So he says to the greengo, "Please come een senor,
Do come on down and use the front door."
So, he come een the house, and upon heez broad back,
He is carry one hell of beeg gony sack.

He puut theze beeg sack down on the floor,
And start pooling out comida galore.
He pool out tortillas, tamales and ham,
He pool out a cheekin and haff of a lamb.

He pool out cervesa and a bottle of wine,
I cannot believe that theze eez all mine!
I'm theenking, "Rodriquez, you locky by heck,
Theze chore as hell beats unemployment check."

So he chakes out heez boles and dreenk some of my wine,
And cosses hees chivos to get them een line.
He cosses and hollers, he knows every one,
"Chinga, Cabron, Yo, Son of a gon."

That ole man he know how to puut on a chow,
Trying to make them damn chivos get up and go.
At last he get them to chom een the sky,
And the last time I see heem, he preety damn high.

He going away and the last theeng I heeer,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS RODRIQUEZ, YOU LITTLE FUCKIN' QUEER!"

TRES
"It was the night before Christmas and all through the casa, not a creature was stirring, hey, vato, que pasa?"
"Hey, man, there's no chimney up here. What will we do?'
Then Pancho Claus said: 'Hang loose, bro. I'll go downstairs and break a bathroom window.' "

the stoners christmas poem

2006-12-21T14:50:00.000-06:00

Twat da nite b4 Krismus, and all thru tha shack,
not a pipe was burning, cuz they ain't got no mo' crack.

Tha stockins' were ripped offa tha mantel and rolled
into something that resembled a large toilet bowl.

The tree was dried out so they mulched it and crammed
it into the bowl to try some new scam.

My baby woke up so I had to go get her,
by the time I got back, they'd smoked all the shitter.

Tha Ranch Dressing in the fridge! I ran in to get it,
when i got there it'd gotten got...all I could say was shit.

I called my dealers pager and much to my surprise,
10 minutes later he knocked on my do' and put drugs before my eyes.

I smoke weed in tha mornin', at noon, and all night,
I drink wine watching TV cause it makes me get tight.

I pass out on tha flo' just 2 feet from tha bed,
It ain't no thing, cuz I fell on my head.

If it weren't for pot, for coke, beer and wine,
I don't think I could make thru this place in time.

I'm sad and I cry at the shit that I've done,
I know I can't go back, I ain't got anyone.

So I sit here and puff on this 6 dollar pipe,
making my lungs crispy, black and ripe.

I'd go out and party like alla tha others,
but I can't cause I gotta smoke every 2 hours.

I ain't addicted, what the hell I do to you?
you ain't my daddy, I ain't nuthin' to you.

You didn't want me back when I was new,
but now you're a grandaddy so, I gotta love you?

No, not, and never will be,
just gimme some pot and let me be me.

puff puff pass.....

ebonics christmas

2006-12-19T14:49:00.000-06:00

De Ebonics Crimmus Pome

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus all ower de hood, ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' good

We hunged up our stockins; An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our check.

All o'de fambly; Wuz layin in de beds; While Ripple and Thunderbird; Dance tru' dey heads.

I passed out inna' flo; Right nex to my Maw; When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars; What covered my doe; 'spectin' de sheriff; Wif a warrent fo sho.

And what did I see; I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon; Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years; Santa Clause, he be white; But looks liken us bros; Gets a black Sanna dis nite.

Faster dan a Po'lees car; My home boy he came; He whupped on dem warf rats; An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on 'Lonzo ; And on Willie Lee; On Saphire, on Shanequa; Dey wuz a site to see!!

As he landed dat watta' mellon; Out der in da skreet; I knowed it was fo' sho';Da damndest site I ebber did see.

He didn't go down no chimbley; He picked da' lock on my doe; An' I sez to myself "Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag; Full of prezents I 'xpect; Wid Air Jordans and fake gold; To wear roun' my neck.

But he left no good prezents; Jus started stealing my shit; Got my drugs, got my guns, Even got my burglar's kit!!

Wit my stuff in de bag; Out da window he flewed I woudda' tried to catched him; But he stoled my 'nife too!!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon; An' whipped out a switch; He wuz gone in a seccon'; Dat son of a bitch!!

Next year I be hopin': Anutha Sanna we git; Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause; Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!

panty hose on the mantle

2006-12-17T14:47:00.000-06:00

May the following keep your spirits up during the hectic holidays...

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things atWal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!""Who would buy that?"

Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. Iwanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry.

I settled for 'Lovable Louise." She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve, with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then comeback and bark some more.

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained,"It's a doll." "Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued. "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless."Why doesn't she have any teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny! Hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, " Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking toLouise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants and Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination and found the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot amber to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. Louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. I think Grandpa still calls her whenever he can get out of the house.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, Legal Version

2006-12-15T14:41:00.000-06:00

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain
improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of
stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and
around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/
St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime
thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were
located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations,
i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited
to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in
said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as
“I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the
second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained
period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of
headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the
unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a
certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of
the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the
cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of
wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the “Vehicle”) being
pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8)
reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the
previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the
approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal
co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder
and Blitzen (hereinafter the “Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is
further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been
involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer
intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences
located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle
was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or
nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or
implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the
chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue
from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the
aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what
appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances
and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor
children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts.
(Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the
applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus
touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of
the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as
“lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House,
the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry
Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

weaker sex

2006-07-27T23:22:00.000-05:00

honestly, i love women. how the fuck would men survive without women? how would i survive without women. not a woman. women.

they're fantastic creatures, truly fucked up people, women are. would men survive wihtout women. yes. because of women, men have pillaged. because of a woman, a man will turn his back on his friend. because of that woman, a man will work his ass off and die before her, just to please that sorry, stincky cunt. she'll feed him high fat foods and make sure he doesn't get enough rest, that he won't have time to diddle with his hobbies.

fuck her...and her sister if you can. fuck her sister in the ass. that way her sister won't tell her you fucked her. fuck her mother if you can. that way you'll know how that pussy is gonna feel in 30 years, and you can have extra time to choose a replacement.

make sure her ass has a job outside of the house. keep her busy. if she's tired like you are, she won't have time to steal money from your job. and if she's working, her saddle-bagged ass won't be so attractive to her mail-room co-workers as it is to those Kroger grocery baggers.

but, yeah, i do love women.

peach pit

2006-07-26T23:17:00.000-05:00

i read in penthouse magazine years and years ago a story about food with sex. never forgot it.

i was fucking/dating this little 5-1 blonde. aggressive as hell, perky little puffy titties, shaved smooth pussy and a ghetto ass. loooooved to suck and swallow. she loved swallerin' so much, that i got mad at her at dinner one night when she told a couple at the bar we had only met an hour before, that my cum tasted soooo sweet and good, she couldn't wait to suck me later that night for dessert.

this little bitch was ready for most anything, when one night i remembered what i had read in that penthouse years earlier. the story was about a couple that loved eating desserts while they were having sex. a particular episode in their story was about peaches. the guy would insert a sliced peach in his woman's pussy and then suck it back out. he had to be quite serious about sucking it back out too...that's what drove his woman crazy with delight.

my girlfriend was more excited about enacting the peach episode almost more than i was. i put a towel on the edge of the bed and placed her ass on it. with me on my knees on the floor beside the bed, she raised her legs up and apart. without having done this kind of thing before, i simply took a slice of peach, parted her pussy lips and placed the slice between them.

the fucking peach slice instantly disappeared into her cunt! i started my part of the deal slowly. i licked her pussy lips, then her clit, just did it like a regular eat-out. after a few minutes, i parted her pussy lips with my fingers holding them as wide open as i could, put my mouth full on her vulva, opened her vagina with my tongue and commenced pulling vaccum.

my tongue searched her hole for the peach. it tasted yummy, but no fruit. i kept sucking and sucking. the peach slice was not forthcoming. after 5 minutes i stopped, she yelled at me to keep sucking! she was almost there, about to cum hard! after she got her cum off, i told her i couldn't get the peach.

after a few choice words at my apparent inability to retrieve the slice, panic set in. we both said that we were not going to the E.R. for this..the peach had to come out now. that poor girl had such a tight pussy, but fortunately, her hands were very small. she couldn't quite get her hand inside, but she got it further in than i could get my tongue. and she got the slice out finally. we both heaved a heavy sigh of relief, then laughed our asses off.

and i assured her that i would have gone with her to the E.R. , but that i would have waited in the car for her.

roommates

2006-07-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

i had been fucking two girls for awhile, having fun with both of them. they were roommates. their schedules were different enough that it was never a big problem to fuck one at their apartment when the other was gone. paradise on earth. nice thing also was that they were very different from each other. variety really is the spice of life!

the tall one, 5-10, was blonde. she had a rack, 40d, big 3 inch lavendar colored areolae, just enough tummy to not be skinny, and a great ass. great kisser too. she didn't like giving head, but more than made up for it when she begged me to fuck her ass. often when we were fucking, she would start talking about her asshole needing me. i would run circles around her anus teasing her and she would moan. then i would plunge a finger or a thumb in and she would shiver. when she had too much teasing she would reach down, grab my dick and put the head on her asshole and push down on it. it didn't matter to her, from the front or doggie-style, she'd beg for an assfucking!

her roomie was brunette, 5-6, 36c, great tits! firm, sensitive, pretty little brown nipples. now this one loved sucking cock and swallowing. she sucked me off one night 4 times and never let me fuck her pussy. she didn't do anal and wasn't interested in even trying. when we fucked she liked being on top and rolling her ass as she grinded her pussy on me. then she would ask me to grab her ass and pull up as far as i could then slam it down on my cock as hard as i could. five minutes of that and my balls were drenched with her cunt-cum. that's when she would go down on me, clean her pussy juice off me and suck me dry.

was fucking both of them for about 5 months. one night the blonde and i had just got into bed and we heard someone open the front door. the brunette called out for her roommate, but we kept silent. the bedroom doorknob turned and the brunette walked in. shock was on her face to see her roommate and her lover in bed together. then, slowly a smile crossed her face. she stripped and climbed into bed. but not on my side, on the blonde's side. they both smiled at each other and started kissing. now the shock was on my face!

i propped up on an elbow and watched them go at it. they sucked each other's tits softly, then took brief licks at their pussies. they looked over at me. i must have had my mouth wide open and my dick in my hand, because almost simultaneously they invited me to join in. naively, i asked where. without speaking, they 69ed each other, the blonde on top. i took the cue right away. standing, i put my dick into the brunettes mouth so she could suck me to rock hardness and get me wet while i dropped a wad off spittle on the blonde's asshole and massaged it with my thumb. my dick wet, i breached the blonde's backdoor with my dickhead and slowly started plunging it deeper. underneath us both, the brunette was eating a facefull on hairless pussy. the blonde had a mouthful of the brunette's hairy cunt.

it was all i could do just to breathe. two hot 26 year old chicks 69ing--i'm fucking one in her ass and getting my balls licked and sucked at the same time by the other! it was a visual and physical carnival of delight. i'd say i lasted only 5 minutes. i had bit my lip till it was bleeding trying to avoid cumming, but i had to bust my nuts. and i did. i filled that ass with man-aze and almost fell to the floor i was so weak.

they flipped over, reversing their positions to avoid dripping cum into the brunette's face. then one came and the sound of her screams sent the other to heaven as well.

we laid in bed for an hour after that, dozing off and on. when we all recovered enough to talk coherently, they laid it on me. they had both been talking about a week earlier and one confided to the other about me and her. at first they were pissed off mad. they made up though and decided that no one was really a bad person in the tryst. we all really liked each other. so they planned that little episode to blow my mind instead of just telling me they had found out.

fucking cool babes! we had that arrangement for another 3 months, then it changed. all good things change. the blonde got married. i still fucked her after that. then she got divorced, and i fucked her still. the brunette moved in with a guy, but she still gave me head when i asked.

fucking cool babes! not all women are bitches. i miss those two roommates.

handy man

2006-07-08T22:28:00.000-05:00

"all the way" bought a little townhouse and started remodeling it before she moved in. she had tile laid throughout the bottom floor and in all 3 baths--upstairs and down, she painted the walls, and upstairs had new carpet installed. the tile setters wanted to charge her $125.00 to reset each toilet. i told her i would reset them, if we could make a deal.

the deal we both agreed to was that for each toilet i reset, i would get a blowjob from her--a big deal since she really didn't like to suck dick. it wasn't so much the dick in her mouth she didn't like, it was the cum. cunt. but a deal was a deal. i began resetting the shitters for her.

after the first 2 toilets were in and working fine, i figured i had 2 blowjobs cumming my way. i waited and she kept stalling. she put her debt off saying," finish the 3rd one and i'll give you head 3 days in a row. so, like the hard-on i am, i told her i would. but that i wanted a show of good faith on her part....just give me head tonight, payment on one. the bitch refused.

no head. no blowjob. i ragged on her about it to no avail. so, i replaced the last toilet in the downstairs powder bath---but left out a most important piece of the redo--the wax ring. when i had finished i told her i would be expecting my "payment for services rendered" beginning that evening. she renigged again on the whole deal saying i shouldn't have made that deal, i should have done it just to help her out. fuck her! i saved the whore $375.00.

so the caulk around the base of the last toilet dried and i announced it ready for use. and being the only downstairs throne, it did get used. wasn't a week before a certain aroma was filling the downstairs area around the kitchen and powder room. and not too long after that when seepage began to appear at the base of the shitter. i pronounced my ineptitude at plumbing and offered she should call a licensed plumber. by the time he showed up, the place was not only wreeking of shit and piss smells, he gave his estimate for the job of $300.00.

i told her i could probably do it for her and save her the cash..but...she'd have to suck my cock everyday for a week.....

i got the blowjobs... all 7 of them, with the condition she didn't have to swallow. i came in her hair, on her face, chin, neck and gave her the prettiest pearl necklace you'd ever seen.

cunt.

napster rocked

2006-07-07T23:17:00.000-05:00

we partied all night long, drinking beers and stacking the cans on the coffee table like we were in high school. but it was fun. dar was the only one smoking that night and his little apartment couldn't have taken more. there we were, 2 guys and a girl, all friends, having a great time listening to dar's napster tunes. he had a great list..all the old stuff and in the perfect order. one song deftly leading into the next...never a let down in mood or theme.

dar had a long white leather couch and a matching chair. that's where he sat. i sat on the far end away from him and she sat at the other end of the couch, nearer dar.

i really don't recall the song set that was playing, but the mood was playing tricks in my head, sending me in a time warp. there i was, a 40 something, re-living the songs i was hearing, dar was in his 30's and she was 25. each tune sparked for me a special memory of past drugs, old girlfriends, football games, blowjobs gone by.

one song hit me hard and words started coming out of my mouth. i didn't realize i was even speaking. some one asked me, "what?" i answered without thinking, "this song makes me want to get naked." they laughed, but i didn't. i stood up and dropped trou and shed shirt. nude i was. and i re-sat my ass back on that leather couch.

dar fell out of his chair laughing his ass off, and i flipped him off. she jumped from her seat to dar's, in his lap, shrieking with laughter and amazement. i flipped them both off and kept singing to myself. you could always count on dar to back you up on anything and he didn't let me down this time. he pushed her off and stood up and stripped his clothes and he re-sat his ass down. the musiic played on.

she stood screaming at the both of us and ran down the hall to his bedroom and slammed the door attempting to lock it. the lock hadn't worked since the last time someone had needed it. we didn't go after her ass, didn't want her ass. we were, well, i was, into the tunes and deja listening. she came out of the bedroom rather timidly and confused. she sat back down in her previous place, knees to her chin and looked to her right at me, then to her left at him. our dicks were hanging low, the beers and late hour having taken their effect on both of us. she wasn't in any danger, and truth be told, i thought at the time, and later dar backed me up on this, she was disappointed in that. later, about 2 days later, she told me she wished she had reacted differently.

by 5 a.m. we all 3 were whipped and slowly drifting off to sleep. dar had put his pants back on at some point, i didn't notice when. i was still nude. i felt a hand on my wrist pulling at me to stand up. in a dazed stupor of lack of sleep and no lack of beer, i stood and followed the lead. she lead me to dar's bedroom and this time quietly closed the door behind us. she aimed me toward the bed and i fell in. she turned me over to my back and i felt her hair on my stomach as she took my dick into her mouth. whiskey dick or no, i surprised myself and probably her, at attaining what i thought was an outstanding hard-on..which she mounted in fine equestrian style.

hard i was, and feeling no pain for sure. but the need to cum wasn't in me. but i had no problem being altruistic in my efforts to give her what she was taking from me anyway. she rode me well, grinding that 25 year old pussy on my old but rigid dick. it seemed like hours passed and she still was in the race. i recall thinking, "well, this might be good afterall", as i was beginning to feel the need to vent my nut sack. with her tits in my face i reached around for her ass and my fingers found her asshole. i pushed a finger in and she exploded on my surprised cock.

but i was more surprised than frank was, i promise. i removed my finger from her ass under much protest, so of course, i returned the digit to her pucker point. few moments passed and she collapsed on top of me, then rolled off to the side. now, i was wide awake. i got to my knees and straddled her chest, fucking her tits. i came on her chest, neck and chin..then i collapsed next to her.

the sun is a harsh bitch. it invaded the little apartment quickly and broke the slumber we might have enjoyed all morning. we woke and stood. she wiped my cum on dar's pillow case. she put her clothes back on as i went back to the den and got mine. dar was still asleep in his leather chair, droll seeping out of his open mouth.

without a word, she and i left quietly, leaving the napster tunes playing and dar snoring, never knowing what had happened. he still doesn't know.

OOOPS

2006-07-07T14:43:00.000-05:00

had a friend once. i say once because we don't talk anymore. good riddance. his choice.

so let me tell you about another choice he made;

he's walking back to his apartment from the corner store with cigs and a suitcase of budlight under his arm. a car stops, window rolls down, blonde head of hair sticks out and asks if he knows if those apartments are leasing. he says yeah. she then asks the question every red-blooded horn dog wants to hear..."can i see your apartment to see if i like the place?"

they're in his place, she says she likes his place..and likes him too. what a fukin surprise, huh?
(the way he relates this story, he says he knew all along she was a whore.)
they start kissing, groping..but when my friend starts for her pussy, she says she wants to suck his dick first. no problem says he.

and suck she does. he cums. she swallows. keeps sucking till he's dry. he's expecting her to ask for money. instead, she wants him to do her now..."her turn."

being an equal opp pussy hound he agrees, thinking it will take him that long to get it up again and then he can fuck her. in one fluid motion she drops her pants and sits on the couch, holding her hands up for him to come to her and get on his knees. when he kneels in front of her, she spreads her legs. up pops a big-o-dick!

he, my friend, screams like a stuck pig! screams death threats to the former her. "she" grabs "her" pants and purse and runs screaming out of the apartment.

to this day he still lives in those same apartments..still walks home at the same time everyday with a case of budlight under his arm...watching every car that passes by...looking..hoping...

my friend says that was the best blow job he has ever had. lucky guy, huh?

twice

2006-07-03T09:49:00.001-05:00

who doesn't like getting head? having the knob slobbed...damn it's good!

have heard and even said myself, that there is no such thing as bad blow job. but, truth be told, there really is. like the ones where she thinks someone is going to take it away from her, so she has mickey mantle grip on it. that's bad because she can't take anything more than the head into her mouth. see...she knows what she's doing. cunts!

i'll take her hand off and even if i have to hold both of her hands, i will! i want my dick in her mouth. don't have to have it balls deep, but i do like seeing lips around at least half way down my shaft.

another somewhat bad head day would be the constant talker. fucking cunt! she has no problem at all going down on you. she just thinks for some reason she has to stop here and there to let you know something she's thinking about. i don't giva fuck what she's thinking, or even if she's not thinking about sucking my dick, just as long as she is! but to stop and talk to me? bitching cunt!

i had one like that once and more. a red head, stacked tits, great ass, snapper pussy, and loved to suck dick and swallow. this time, she was into coming up on 10 minutes giving me head. i'm getting ready to blow my wad and she knew it because she stopped to comment about tasting pre-cum. that kind of comment is OK. but i feel it coming on strong, i'm starting to drool, i tense up and..right, she pulls off and asks me some fuckass stupid question about that show "Survivor"! BLAM, BLAM, BLAM!!

she's holding my dick in her hand, sees a cumwad on the tip of it, and asks if i came.

i said yeah, bitch, fuck you! why did you stop sucking? yeah i came! i came twice!
once in the air and once in your hair!

kadunkadunk

2006-07-03T08:15:00.000-05:00

nice ass, huh? tits were as good. the poor, grainy quality was due to using a disposable camera. her ass was 4 fingers deep, meaning i could swipe my hand through those ass checks like an ATM card and only my thumb would show.

fuck! i think her ass sticking out like that made her pussy all the more tighter and sweeter.

thanks for the memories, you were back then, and still are a great fuck!

question

2006-07-02T22:17:00.000-05:00

what is a woman?

a life support system for a pussy.

all the way

2006-07-02T12:41:00.000-05:00

her name rhymed with "all the way", so that's who this post is about, well, one episode about her anyway.

i met her at a birthday party for a friend of mine. the gift i gave my buddy that day was 2 pair of gaudy women's panties, horrible colors with flowers on them. just a gag gift, something to bring a laugh, and it worked, so for less than 5$, the gift was a hit. the sick bastard probably wore those panties out either actually wearing them himself or jacking off into them. he is truly a sick fuck.

but back to "all the way". she was at that party, she was cute and funny and sweet, etc. having only just met her, when leaving all i did was extend my hand to shake and tell her it was nice meeting her. she drew me close and gave me a big hug. she whispered in my ear that she'd like to see me sometime in the future and gave me a napkin with her phone number on it. i gave her mine as well.

we talked that night and made plans for lunch the next day. 2 hours later we were fucking in a hotel room 5 minutes from the restaurant. damn, she had a killer body with perfect tits and a nice firm ass. at one rest point, she noticed the time, 5:30, and bolted up out of bed saying she had to get back home, home before "he" did. yeah, the bitch was married. so the fuck what? like i'm supposed to ask that question? fuck you!

she dressed and flew out.

all the lights in the room had been out, so i turned one one to sit and relax before i left.

that's when i noticed the bed. the cover and top sheet was on the floor. but the bed sheet, well, it was in bad shape. she picked a fine time to start her period. there was blood every where. so much blood that the first thing i thought of was that there had to be a horse's head in there somewhere.

well fuck! the bleeding cunt! oh shit! did i...go down on her?? thought back instantly. no, thank god, i didn't.

i called her cell, she answered, we "cooed" for a minute or 2 about how good the sex had been, then i told her, "you've started your period, baby".

yes, i showered.

the desk clerk had my credit card # and info, so i had to go in just to warn her that there needed to be a clean-up in the room because my friend had started her period, and that no, an animal had not been slaughtered in their hotel.

intro

2006-07-02T00:29:00.000-05:00

hopefully, by reading the premiere post, you know who frank and the boys are. if you know exactly who frank and the boys are, great, you're gonna like coming here and reading stuff you're too chickenshit to write. if you missed it, come back soon and read more posts because you're a dumbass and need shit like this.

this blog is for me, not you, but you can benefit from it in some form or fashion.

what i write here will be true stories that have actually happened the way you're gonna read them.

I don't give a flying fuck what you've done, so don't leave me your stories in the comments. get off your weak, voyeuristic, pimpled ass and make your own blog.

on the other hand, if you're a sweet gal and wanna share a story, please do so. but i expect to have photos in my email to go along with what you have to say. and yes, baby, i promise not to share them with anyone unless you have given me permission.

thanks for stopping by. frank thanks you, the boys thank you, and as always, i thank you.

gagged

2006-07-02T00:10:00.000-05:00

she loved giving head and i loved getting it from her. she always looked up at me while she was sucking my dick. she wanted me to watch. most women will suck if they have to. she wanted to. she liked it. she probably still does. she always commented about the taste of my cum, that she loved it, and the way it coated her throat allowing her to taste me long after she had sucked me dry.

once, she wanted it deepthroat. who was i too not allow that? but this time she gagged as i hit the back of her throat. she actually apologized, took a moment to clear her mind, then began sucking me again. again, she gagged. but this time she pulled away from me, almost spitting my cock out of her mouth as she got up from her knees with her hand over her mouth.

she ran to the toilet and heaved. of course nothing came up, but you never can be sure, right? she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, turned the faucet on and took a drink of water from her hand. she wiped her mouth with a hand towel, and walked back over to me where i had been standing at the foot of the bed. going limp because of what i had just witnessed, she looked at frank and said, "awww, baby, i'm sorry. let's see what i can do about that."

lifting my limp dick in one hand she started licking the boys, flicking her tongue back and forth between them all the while stroking frank back to life. it wasn't too long that once again she was cramming my hard cock back into her hungry mouth.

long story short--she made a long dick short. i came with renewed fury as her tongue made circles around frank while she sucked. she sucked me dry and continued to suck long after i was done. i guess she felt as if she had something to make up for since she had gagged herself on my cock, ran to the toilet and puked. damn right she did. she did the right thing.